Just because The Spirituality Project is on summer break doesn’t mean your meditation practice should be! New York is filled with wonderful meditation communities and mindfulness opportunities to make sure you stay awake and connected this summer. The following are just a few, but it is by no means an exhaustive list. These groups and centers are primarily Buddhist or Jewish because those are the communities I’m connected to. If you know of other meditation communities or opportunities over the summer, let us know in the comments!

Practice Communities near Greenwich Village:

1. The Village Zendo
The Village Zendo is a Zen community in the heart of downtown New York City. Serving as a sanctuary in busy Manhattan, we offer meditation, services, retreats, workshops and study groups. Participation is open to all.

2. Dharma Punx
Dharma Punx NYC is an open, Buddhist community in the Theravaden Tradition. We meet weekly on the Lower East Side of New York CIty and in Greenpoint Brooklyn. Originally founded by Noah Levine, the classes are taught by Josh Korda. All are welcome, from beginners to experienced practitioners. All classes are offered without charge, supported by donation.

3. The Interdependance Project
The Interdependence Project is for people interested in exploring their minds on the meditation cushion and applying the insights, clarity, and wisdom developed by meditation techniques to a variety of applications in the world of arts, ecology, activism and community service. The I.D. Project offers various weekly and monthly Buddhism and meditation classes in NYC’s East Village, as well as workshops and retreats on a variety of topics from the world of contemplative education, activism, and the arts. We currently have an ongoing eco-activism Responsible Consumption project, a prison tutuoring project, as well as monthly arts groups, Salons, weekly podcasts, a Guest Lecture Series and a blog with 2-3 new articles daily.

4. The Shambhala Center of New York
The Shambhala Meditation Center of New York is part of an international community of 165 meditation centers founded by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche and led by Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche. The Shambhala Buddhist path, unique in the world of Western Buddhism, combines the teachings of the Kagyu and Nyingma traditions of Tibetan Buddhism with the Shambhala principles of living an uplifted life, fully engaged with the world. Programs and classes in Buddhist teachings, meditation and other contemplative disciplines are offered as well as individual meditation instruction. The Center is home to a vibrant, diverse community of members and friends who provide ongoing volunteer and financial support – creating a warm, genuine basis for the realizing the full potential of our authentic wisdom traditions.

5. New York Insight Meditation Center
New York Insight is an urban center for the practice of mindful awareness, called Insight or Vipassana meditation. NYI programs include talks, weekly sittings and courses as well as daylong and weekend retreats and workshops for the integration of meditation teachings into daily life. NYI strives to be a center that reflects the vivid diversity of the city in which we live. Our center is a place where everyone—of different ages, nationalities, cultures, languages, ethnicities, sexual orientation, and spiritual backgrounds—is welcome to begin or deepen meditation practice based on the teachings of the Buddha.

Practice Communities a Little Farther Away (but that are awesome)

1. Brooklyn Zen Center
Brooklyn Zen Center is a Soto Zen community in the tradition of San Francisco Zen Center’s founder, Shunryu Suzuki. The community’s founding students came from both San Francisco Zen Center and Austin Zen Center, where they studied with dharma teachers from both centers. The intention of this community is to maintain a space for sitting together in meditation (zazen), to offer a place to study Buddhist ethics and practice, and to embody the wisdom, compassion and community of the Buddha as they have been carried down through the Soto Zen tradition. (I am biased, since this is my community, but it really is a welcoming, fun, diverse place where the learning goes deep, the stillness is profound, and the people are like family).

2. The JCC in Manhattan: Makom
Contemplate, meditate or explore your spiritual self at Makom: The Center for Meditation and Spirituality at The JCC in Manhattan. Our programs are created for those who are interested in learning more about meditation as well as those who are looking to build their practice. We offer an array of courses including introductory meditation classes, meditation intensives and urban retreats, self–healing and spiritual nourishing programming, spiritual Shabbat dinners, literary events and much more.

3. Jewish Meditation Center of Brooklyn
The Jewish Meditation Center of Brooklyn is a home for Jewish meditation in New York City and beyond: a thriving grassroots community of meditators and spiritual leaders who are transforming the world through the cultivation of awareness, compassion, and Jewish wisdom. We are building a replicable model of a grassroots, community-led Jewish Meditation Center, based on the belief that truly sustainable tikkun olam (repairing the world) happens from the inside out.

Go on a Meditation Retreat this Summer!

Your heart, mind, and body will thank you! Here are some reputable places that are offering meditation retreats outside of the City (but not too far!):

1. Zen Mountain Monastery
Located on 230 acres of forest preserve in New York’s beautiful Catskill Mountains, Zen Mountain Monastery (ZMM), the mainhouse of the Mountains and Rivers Order (MRO), is one of the West’s most respected Zen Buddhist monasteries and training centers. Since its inception in 1980, ZMM has offered spiritual practitioners innovative ways to engage the Buddhist teachings through a wide range of retreats and residential programs that take place within the context of authentic, full-time Zen monastic training. Throughout the year, our teachers, staff and special guests lead retreats that highlight each of the areas that form ZMM’s unique training matrix: the Eight Gates of Zen, a Western rendition of the Buddha’s Eightfold Path.

2. Omega Retreat Center
Omega is a place to explore the extraordinary potential that exists in all of us as individuals and together as a human family. Omega was founded on the holistic worldview that the well-being of each of us is deeply connected to the well-being of all living things. Since 1977, we have offered diverse and innovative educational experiences that inspire an integrated approach to personal and social change. Omega, a nonprofit organization, continues to be at the forefront of human development. We nurture dialogues on the integration of modern medicine and natural healing; design programs that connect science, spirituality, and creativity; and lay the groundwork for new traditions and lifestyles.

3. Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat Center
At Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat Center, we create transformative experiences that integrate ecological awareness, vibrant Jewish spirituality and social justice. On retreat and on the farm, our programs cultivate community, refresh the soul and rekindle purpose. At Isabella Freedman, people wake up to themselves, each other and the planet. Inspired by a relevant and thriving Judaism, we work together to create a more just and compassionate society.

4. Institute for Jewish Spirituality
The IJS seeks to develop, nurture and disseminate through mainstream Jewish institutions the vitally needed stream of contemplative Judaism that serves to enrich the inner lives of Jews, revitalize the Jewish wisdom tradition, open Jewish institutions to new forms of liturgical and ritual expression, and ultimately to link the search for inner wholeness with social and environmental activism.

5. Blue Cliff Monastery
Blue Cliff Monastery, set in the lush green Hudson Valley of New York, was established in May 2007 and is an extension of Plum Village meditation center in France, founded by the Venerable teacher Thích Nhất Hạnh. Like our root monastery Plum Village and sister monastery Deer Park (Escondido, California), Blue Cliff welcomes anyone who wishes to learn and cultivate the art and practices of engaged Buddhism through mindful living. Blue Cliff’s 80 acres of woodland and open space offer a peaceful sanctuary for our guests. Its proximity to NYC and its setting in the beautiful mountains of NY State makes it an ideal location for the cultivation of the path of peace, reconciliation, and happiness. The four-fold community of monks, nuns, laymen and laywomen welcomes you to join us in our daily life of mindful practice.

The summer is a beautiful time to reconnect with the aliveness within you. Check these places out, and let us know how it goes! ALSO – keep watch for several special mindfulness events from the Spirituality Project this summer.

“And when I talk about therapy, I know what people think: that it only makes you selfish and in love with your shrink. But oh, how I loved everybody else
when I finally got to talk so much about myself.” – Dar Williams, “What do you hear in these sounds?”

I love therapy, and I think of it very much as a spiritual practice. I’ve been in it, off and on, for most of my adult life, and I have no plans of leaving. I experience weekly therapy the exact same way I experience meditation and exercise – it forces me to pause, to connect to what is honest and true, to grow my capacity for intimacy, and to live a full and healthy life.

Which is why I was saddened to read the New York Times op-ed by Jonathan Alpert last week entitled, “In Therapy Forever? Enough Already,” and to see it reposted on many of my friends’ Facebook pages. Alpert, a psychotherapist, claims that long-term therapy is almost always doing clients a disservice. He claims that the purpose of therapy is to teach clients to confront their fears of change, not by delving into feelings or the past, but by using “smart strategies” to change their lives.

There is a powerful allure in Alpert’s argument. In many ways, it is a very American, very self-help-y way of managing pain and discomfort. Set goals! Change your life! Pull yourself together! And do it quickly! I haven’t read Alpert’s book, but even the title, “Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days” subscribes to the excitement and sexiness of miracle treatment that can solve our pain (a) through the force of will and (b) fast.

Goals and Strategies
Like most people, I’m a total sucker for quick-fixes. When I feel upset, I usually cut my hair or change my furniture around my apartment in the hopes that it does the trick. When I’m in physical pain, I take pills (the legal kind). I am not morally opposed to quick fixes, I just rarely experience the problem as truly “fixed.”

Of course a good piece of advice, like I assume Alpert gives in his sessions, can be incredibly helpful in solving a quick problem, but in my experience, living a healthy life and stopping repetitive cycles of harmful behavior to myself and others requires the taking apart, often slowly and painstakingly, of faulty structures and damaging story lines that I have built my life around. It requires a great deal of bravery, patience, and support from my therapist. And – in my experience – it requires time.

Most meditation teachers scoff at the idea of “quick enlightenment” through meditation. In fact, they tell you to disregard the notion of goals and outcomes altogether, and just start practicing. What emerges is often deeper and bigger and more different than what you could imagine with your limited storehouse of experiences. I think the same is true of therapy. It is not a place for goals and outcomes. It’s a place to crack open, and learn to understand and accept that which pours out. I once asked my therapist, “What is the secret to getting people to change?” He replied, “Forget about changing. Focus instead on acceptance.” By learning to accept the deepest parts of ourselves, we will change – but it will be a bigger and deeper change than we even knew was possible or could have articulated as our goal.

The Pleasure of Therapy
Many people, myself included, initially resist therapy – or feel they should stop going after a certain number of sessions – on the grounds that either life isn’t that bad, or that it is no longer that bad. Most people agree that therapy is good for people with “serious” mental issues or who have had to deal with large traumas. Another segment of the population agrees that talking to a therapist is a good idea to work through a problematic relationship or even to understand the wounds of childhood, but once that is “done,” therapy should end.

My question is, why? Cost is an issue. Therapy unfortunately is, for many people, an economic luxury they can’t afford. Even most health care plans that cover therapy often have a cap on the number of sessions. That economic truth, however, is a reflection of the insurance companies’, the healthcare industries’, and (to some extent) the general public’s bias against preventative and holistic health models. Articles like Alpert feed directly into this bias.

Apart from the cost, however, what harm does it do to have an ongoing space for reflection with a professional, a place where you are heard, and seen, and validated and reflected with kindness? Most of the time, therapy is hard work, but what about the times it isn’t? What about the times it feels warm, and intimate, and pleasurable?

Alpert is concerned about this aspect of the therapeutic relationship, “[T]here’s a difference between feeling good and changing your life,” he writes. “Feeling accepted and validated by your therapist doesn’t push you to reach your goals… Therapy sessions can work like spa appointments: they can be relaxing but don’t necessarily help solve problems.”

I think this statement reflects a deep fear in our society that too much kindness, too much validation, and too much love is dangerous. It will make us self absorbed and “soft.” We fear it will rob us of our need to accomplish goals, solve problems, and be productive.

Interestingly, the Times printed an article last year with research that suggests quite the opposite. Researchers found that people who practiced self-compassion experienced less depression and anxiety, tended to be happier and more optimistic, and possibly even lost weight easier. The article is careful to make the distinction that Alpert doesn’t – self compassion is not the same as self-indulgence. Self-indulgence is a desperate attempt to give in to every desire and whim with the hope of trying to escape unpleasant sensations. Self-compassion is a forgiving and kind orientation towards the self that allows us to grow in love for ourselves and others.

Self-compassion is a great gift of therapy and it has personally given me the strength to make the most profound changes in my life. In fact, I think learning self-compassion, on its deepest levels, has been the most profound change in my life, and it’s resulted in easier and closer relationships with others, with my work, and a better ability to handle life’s constant changes.

Going Back
Alpert ends his article with some analogies: “if your hairstylist keeps giving you bad haircuts, do you keep going back? If a restaurant serves you a lousy meal, do you make another reservation?” Of course not. If you aren’t connecting with your therapist, don’t go back to him/her.

But that does not mean that therapy should be only short term, or focused on solving problems or achieving goals. When will you be “cured” from having to exercise regularly or eat healthy food? When will you have achieved your “goal” in your friendships or relationships? When viewed this way, therapy doesn’t have an expiration date. It’s an on-going process of self-exploration and growth, leading to ever-more levels of open heartedness and wisdom. It’s an incredible treasure that we have people out there whose sole job is to help us learn to understand ourselves and others and live happy and healthy lives. My hope is that I, as well as anyone else who wants to, will have the opportunity and the courage to stay in therapy forever.

Listen to the remarkable and eloquent CAS Junior, Sophia A., as she talks about her connection to mindfulness and why it’s such an important practice for those going into mental health work. Sophia will be giving a teaching during the weekly meditation on May 2, 2012, 6:30pm, at 7 East 10th Street. Hope you can make it!

By Luke Darby

After spending my first three months in New York arriving late to every appointment, interview and brunch date, I joined the modern era and bought a smartphone. I intended to use it exclusively for calls and lifesaving GPS, but I quickly devolved into playing with Google Goggles and Words with Friends. I’m hardly savvy, but the thing’s been so useful I’m at the point where switching back to a regular phone is unthinkable. So, in honor of my new found technophilia, and in an attempt to use tech for something more meaningful than Fruit Ninja, we’ve put together a list of ways to stay mindful and spiritually active on your phone (or old fashioned computer).

Dharma Seed Podcast

Dharma Seed is a project that began in the 80’s to preserve the oral teachings of Theravada Buddhism, the oldest surviving Buddhist school. Their podcasts are available for free, along with digital versions of their past talks (some 900 odd pages worth) on their site. Want a meditation primer? Looking to hear wisdom on topics like loneliness, anger, or love? All you have to do is type your keywords into the search box and hear teachers like Sylvia Boorstein, Joseph Goldstein, Adjan Sumedho help you on your way!

Insight Timer – The Mediation App

Unlike your phone’s default stopwatch, the Insight Timer uses recordings of Tibetan singing bowls, and you can program it for as simple or complex a routine as you like. The bells can chime at the beginning, end, or throughout your meditation session, at set or random intervals. The Insight Timer also tells you everyone who’s meditating at the same time you are, so you can feel connected even if you’re practicing at home.

The Mindfulness App

But if you’re new to meditating and maybe a little unsure of how to start, there’s always the Mindfulness App. The Mindfulness App comes with four silent meditations and four guided ones, all between 3 and 30 minutes. It also features “Mindfulness Notices” and meditation reminders to help you be more present over the course of the day. Great if you’re looking to be both more mindful and disciplined.

Urban Mindfulness Blog

On top of his private practice, clinical psychologist Jonathan S. Kaplan, Ph.D., keeps this blog about maintaining mindfulness. It’s a mix of interviews, news on local events, and even some poetry, covering topics like parenting, anxiety, and psychotherapy (which he discussed with Dr. Mark Epstein!). Urban Mindfulness also runs in Psychology Today.

Twitter, Various

The breadth of material available on Twitter is astounding, and now that even Pope Benedict XVI is online (even if he’s only tweeted five times since last summer), it’s safe to say that Twitter houses a thriving spiritual community. Whether you’re interested in the Dalai Lama, NYU’s Imam, Khalid Latif, or Eboo Patel and the Interfaith Youth Core, there’s an abundance of voices out there. In fact, we’re interested in listening to some more – Do you follow anyone on Twitter who spiritually motivates you?

This list certainly isn’t all-encompassing. We’ve probably missed some cool features or websites that you’ve found. If so, please tell us about them!

Luke Darby is a graduate student in magazine writing at NYU’s Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute.

By Sarah Barak

I just came back from a six day meditation and spirituality retreat. We were silent from 9 p.m.-1 p.m. daily, and during the afternoon we had religious study related to mindfulness and transformation, and were able to engage in mindful speech if we chose to. We had a lot of opportunities to share our personal experiences with the whole group, and I took advantage of that.

If you look at my blog from 2011, you’ll see that I have virtually no posts. It was hands-down the worst year of my life. Here’s the summary: February, massive pain flare leading to huge setback in physical ability; April, my husband gets very sick with mystery illness I; May, lose my 59 year-old father to cancer; June, lose my nine week old baby to God-knows-what; August, my husband gets terrifyingly sick with mystery illness II; October, major depressive episode; December, husband needs emergency surgery. The whole year, since May, was set against a backdrop of the after-effects of my father’s poor estate planning, which left me with a lot of emotional pain, anger and resentment. I was so raw, I didn’t want to write about anything going on, and I didn’t feel able to write about anything else. I also really struggled with the idea of how open to be on this blog. My readership on my blogs has always been highest when I’m raw, transparent and vulnerable. That’s a scary place to be among loved ones, or just yourself, let alone on the void of the Internet where the crazies loom.

Anyway, I decided if I was going to get anything out of the retreat, I had to be honest about where I was. The group of people I retreated with made a really safe space to do that in, but even before I knew them, I took the leap. For example, the first group interview on the second full day of the retreat was a little intense. The background is that six of us were in a circle, and each of us, in turn, had a personal conversation with the meditation instructor about our practice (we had individual interviews at other times) while the others just listened. Most of the other participants said things like, “I can’t keep following my breath during seated meditation. What do I do?” or “I get really sleepy.” Some delved a little deeper, touching on the general nature of their distractions. Finally, James gets to me and I pour out the following:

“I’m anxious. The focus of that anxiety during my meditation is how many needs I have, and how terrified I am of not having those needs met. I’m scared of there not being food here I can eat, I’m scared I won’t be able to sleep with four other women in my room and how badly that will make my pain flare, I’m scared of there not being an available bathroom when I need one. I’m scared of having to wait 25 minutes for a shower! Worse, I hate that I have all these special needs, and I’m just so aware of how fucked up that makes me feel. I feel fundamentally broken, screwed up, weird and unlovable. And I hate it.”

Tara Brach, a popular D.C.-based meditation teacher, talks a lot about the “trance of unworthiness” that people, particularly Westerners, feel. This was at the heart of what I was expressing to James in that group interview. I heard this come up in other guises at the retreat, and was shocked to learn that even seemingly perfect people, like Demi Moore, feel this way. In a February interview in Harper’s Bazaar magazine, Moore described her greatest fear: “What scares me is that I’m ultimately going to find out at the end of my life that I’m not really loveable, that I’m not worthy of being loved. That there’s something fundamentally wrong with me …”

But back to me. James says in his lovely James-ian voice (now permanently etched in my head), “It’s ok to have needs. The first thing I want you to do is acknowledge that you want things: you want to have food to eat. You want to sleep. You want to shower. That’s ok. The second thing is, when you encounter this, I want you to say, ‘not me.’ It’s not you. You may have needs and you may have anxieties, but they are not you.” I’ll have more to say about this in another post about Jan. 6, but in the meantime, I’ll leave this with a comic illustration of this proposition.

I felt so odd after I spilled my deepest-held feelings about my trance of unworthiness in front of five strangers. After our interview, two retreatants who were there came up to me and thanked me for sharing so openly. They said it took guts and helped them. Emboldened by the votes of confidence, I started putting out really personal, embarrassing things during our afternoon group discussions if I thought it could help other people, or would otherwise be relevant to our discussion.

At the end of the retreat, when we were saying goodbye to each other, the feedback others’ consistently gave to me was how thankful they were that I shared such intimate things. That it helped them immensely, and gave them hope that they could be resilient and make it through some pretty awful times. After about 15 people said that to me, it really reinforced for me that I am most myself when I am open and honest, especially on my blog. I don’t do inauthentic well. It’s not that I’d share everything (ok, I would share almost everything…), but I am going to just try and be myself and accept the consequences. I also take a lot of inspiration in this from Heather Armstrong, who was so open about her mental health problems, especially as they concerned her second pregnancy, and has taken a huge amount of crap from the true Internet crazies for it.

So, I hope that 2012 is a much more active year for this blog, and that I can be myself, make myself vulnerable, and hopefully enrich someone else’s life because of it.

—————–
Sarah Barak lives in Washington, D.C., with her husband and Norwich Terrier. She blogs at http://everydayglory.blogspot.com about spiritual, physical, and emotional wellness. This is a re-post from Sarah’s blog.

By Breetel Shy

When I heard Matisyahu, the Pop-Reggae artist, shaved his beard, I was pissed. Having been raised the daughter of a rabbi in a conservative Jewish family, I identified with him. He put my people on the map.

Matisyahu’s rise in fame happened while I was a freshman in college. Keeping kosher and observing the Sabbath my whole life in a secular community had made me comfortable with the fact that my traditions were ignored by others or just seemed weird. But when “King Without a Crown” began playing at house parties, my weirdness became kind of cool.

“Breetel, what does ‘mashiach’* mean?” My friends would ask. Now I was an authority with insider knowledge.

Matisyahu was an important symbol. He showed the world that a religious man could make it in a secular world. He showed me that my faith could be an asset. But as a rabbi’s daughter I have also learned that being a symbol of piety is far too much of a burden for any person to bare.

In my adult life, I practice my faith much differently than I did growing up. I have come to think of my religion in two ways- the traditions, holidays and rituals that connect me to my family, and my spiritual beliefs which are rooted in Judaism, but also transcend it.

My partner is Christian- the son of two ministers actually. Being in an interfaith relationship has taught us the importance of understanding and honoring our own and each others beliefs while embracing the tension between them. It has shown me that living with contradictions is difficult, but not impossible. It has forced me to live with nuance and uncertainty, even when it is uncomfortable.

So yesterday, at Matisyahu’s concert I looked at his clean-shaven face, and I forgave him. I remembered that people can often be bound by the need to represent an absolute, but spirituality can be messy and complicated and ever-evolving. It’s the ability to challenge ourselves and continually search for connection that makes life meaningful.

* It means “Messiah”

Breetel Shy is a Doula/Labor Support living in Colorado. She is passionate about empowering herself and other to move through transitions with grace and respect. If you are looking for a Doula in the Boulder/Denver area, visit www.breetel.com for a free consultation.

The Sitter of the Week this week is our amazing student director, Tara Ferrante! Hear her talk about her history with meditation and connection to The Spirituality Project in her own words:

Hey friends! We are starting a new feature on the blog, where we spend 2 minutes with a new Spirituality Project sitter each week. For our inaugural week, we would like to introduce you to CAS Freshman, Richard Zhang!

Want to be a featured sitter on our blog? Email yael.shy[at]nyu.edu, or attend our weekly sitting meditation Wednesdays at 6:30pm (see the events calendar for more details) and let the leader know! We hope to see YOU up here soon!

This past year, I was a part of a fundraising training session entitled “The Soul of Money,” with author and fundraiser extraordinaire, Lynn Twist. Twist is an inspiring presence and her vision for the world of social profit (she doesn’t like the term non-profit) fundraising is incredibly moving.

Fundraising, she says, does not need to be a “necessary evil” of doing good work. It can be a truly spiritual practice in and of itself, helping individuals, groups, and corporations re-allocate resources away from fear, over-consumption, and destruction and towards love. She says that fundraising done in the right spirit dispels three toxic myths: 1. There isn’t enough for everyone, 2. We always need more, and 3. Things will always be the way they are. In other words, a scarcity mentality built on fear. Conversely, she argues that by asking people for money from a place of strength and joy, we give ourselves, and those individuals being asked, the opportunity to heal from our places of clinging, stuckness, and possessiveness around money. By asking, we allow others to do the thing they want to do more than anything else: contribute to meaning in the world, dispel delusion, and rest in the truth of a sufficient world.

I realized over the weekend that I subconsciously entered the fundraising world because I wanted to heal my own scarcity mentality. I grew up in a large family with a legacy of dysfunctional attitudes around money. My mother remembers the most vicious fights between her parents being about money. I remember the same being true between my parents. The truth was that we were never truly destitute, and that my siblings and I never went hungry or lived in poverty, but our story about money reflected the delusion that there simply was never enough of money – or of anything – to handle everyone’s needs. And so I suffered in our miniature dog-eat-dog world of “not enough,” grabbing food at dinner, stealing from my siblings, fighting for attention by any necessary, including violence. Perhaps the most painful outcome of this delusion was an unrelenting, searing jealousy of others who I perceived had it better than me.

In the past few years, I have been slowly waking up out of the nightmare of delusion that is the scarcity mentality, but when it comes to releasing my grip on money itself, it’s still very hard for me. It really feels like I don’t ever have enough, that I am perpetually dropping into debt, and that holding onto my money will make me secure and safe. This was painfully illuminated for me during the workshop, when we had to practice asking for individual face-to-face donations in three minutes with other participants, and really ask them for money for our organizations. I was nervous, but I felt that such a great energy was built in the room and so much money-positive messaging and paradigm shifting had taken place, that it wouldn’t be too hard.

Luckily, I didn’t have to go first. The woman next to me did her pitch for an amazing organization in San Diego that teaches young people in schools to be peacemakers. As she wrapped up her pitch, she asked, “would you like to be involved or make a donation?” Strangely, until that moment, I didn’t know how I would respond to her ask. I had been so busy planning mine that I didn’t prepare at all. I suddenly felt a panic sweep over my body and my stomach clench. A hundred images flashed through my mind: My growing balance on my credit card, my upcoming vacation, my dwindling savings, un-bought birthday presents, etc. etc. Two words flashed through my head: “NOT ENOUGH. NOT ENOUGH.” I also heard an internal voice say to me, “Don’t be a chump. You don’t know anything about this organization. You will regret giving later.” So I said to the woman, “Maybe, but I need a little more information.” She nodded, looking like she was trying to hide her disappointment. I felt awful.

My turn was next. I was paired with another partner, and began my 3 minute pitch for the Brooklyn Zen center. I stumbled and was clumsy under the pressure. My partner – not a Buddhist and not a meditator – responded, “I would like to donate, but I’m a little afraid to give a lot since both my husband and I lost our jobs this year. I will give $10, though. I wish I could give more.” She immediately pulled out her check book, and wrote a check. Needless to say, I felt even more terrible about my closed-fistedness a few minutes earlier.

The good news is that I will have endless possibilities to practice the heart-opening that comes with giving more than I think I can. I can continue to work on seeing that money is just an expression of values and, as my friend (and Zen priest) Greg Snyder says, a type of energy. I will have lots more time to taste the sweetness of realizing, through giving, that what I already have, and what I already am, is filled with abundance.

By Angelica

“The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is. It’s all there is. Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be.” Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

As young adults, we are constantly searching. We search for purpose, belonging, meaning… As a student at NYU, I constantly sought identity, a definition of some sort.

Often times, I defined myself as different parts of my past, creating a narrative of myself that ran through my mind like a script every time I introduced myself. I defined myself by the places I had been and the things I had done. I was someone who loved Israel, who ran, who loved “the environment” (whatever that means), who studied science. Interestingly, I also defined myself by the struggle that all of these descriptors entailed—the struggle of passing difficult exams, the struggle of “saving the Earth”, the struggle of loving and defending Israel.

I also defined myself by the different parts of the future I envisioned—upcoming meetings, finals, summer programs. I felt as if I was missing a limb if I were ever without my Palm Pilot and planner. I agonized for hours about my major and degree, about what a piece of paper would say about me some years in the future. I desperately wanted it to say something important and meaningful, so I could add it to the complex narrative of me.

I got it and it didn’t say much and I continued searching. After graduation, I moved to Rhode Island in pursuit of another degree, another piece of paper to add to the narrative.

The move was eye-opening. The energy of Rhode Island was so different from New York—quiet, still, serene—and the search slowed. In the quiet and stillness, I found something I wasn’t looking for. I found a yoga studio hidden by trees next to a salt pond; with no signs or advertisements, just instructors and a class schedule on a whiteboard. It was a place that would add absolutely nothing to the story of me (at this age, called a resume). But I yearned for it every moment I was away.

I found myself in the studio two, three times a week, in a room heated to 90 degrees for 90 minutes, practicing challenging poses and bringing my awareness to my breath, to the moment, to the now. In the studio, there was no time to think of the past or imagine the future, no time to compose the narrative. Just time to be completely present, in the moment, in the breath, in myself, as I am. Slowly I took these lessons out of the studio and applied them to the “challenging poses” of day-to-day life. I learned to breathe and be completely present in other difficult situations. I learned to not get tied up or defined by the difficult situations.

In the yoga studio, I found something that I both wanted to share with the world and keep completely to myself. The realization that I am. I simply am. I don’t need to define myself at all, or search for anything (for identify, peace, resolution, happiness) in the stories of the past or dreams for the future.

All there is the now and the now is beautiful, happy and struggle-free. In the now, at this very moment, I am absolutely free to do the things I love, to be who I want to be, to pursue what makes me shine and always let my heart lead. In the now, there is no searching, because there is nothing missing. This isn’t to say that life is completely struggle-free; certainly, it is not. But finding this yoga practice, this practice of breathing through challenges, has helped me quiet my mind (if it had its way, it would compose the narrative all day long) and open my eyes to the promise and the possibilities of the moment.

Angelica is 22 and lives in Rhode Island.